Addiction

Addiction

What a surprise, to see you here.
It’s been a while, maybe two years.
No words out of my mouth,
as I see you sitting on the couch.
Showing me tears.
Telling me your life wasn’t clear.
Between my thoughts of fear,
I wondered, “Why were you here?”
Always someone else to blame, as I stood there thinking,
“We aren’t the same.”
Lost were the feelings of our happiness,
as I stood before you with eyes of bitterness.
No more will I smile and pretend.
The last time you walked out,
I tearfully let go of my best friend.
My heart has already decided.
This time I will not hide it.
Our dreams will never be reborn.
As I try to mend from a heart once torn.
There was nothing left to believe.
With a broken heart, I had to leave.
Running away, alone.
To try to find a life to call my own!
You thought our life was a bore.
Always wanting to do things you’ve never done before.
Nights, out on the run.
Telling me, all you were doing was having fun.
Never realizing what you were doing to yourself.
Living a life like there was nobody else.
Losing your way, you would lose track of the days.
All in an attempt to simply get away.
Now you’re paying for it all,
choosing a life of loneliness and alcohol!
Don’t raise your voice!
You had a chance and made your choice.
I’ll allow you one thing, is that you admit to everything.
You look so broken on the outside,
as I thought and missed the person I once knew on the inside.
Your apology is a story once read.
I’ve heard it all, it can remain unsaid.
My hand you reached out to hold,
as my eyes reflect back our love that now runs cold.
Again and again I tried to understand your demons inside.
But this time I won’t close my eyes, as I hold off tears, YOU WILL NOT SEE ME CRY!
I got lost in the illusion that I would be able to help you find a solution.
To understand all the things coming from your head: remembering your promise, as you held me in our bed.
I tried to lift you up and make you fight!
You are here a little too late to make it right.
Nothing is easy in life.
I couldn’t change you because you never had the will inside.
Life is the choices we make,
though it’s my heart you’re not going to take!
For your own sake, I hope someday you’ll awake
and realize it may not be too late…
For a moment we were quiet and still.
As your eyes stopped on the mantle.
Our picture still sits there.
A small reminder of when you cared.
Somehow through tears you managed to smile a bit,
and truly promised, “This was it!”
You were going to get help and take that step.
And without another word, you paused, took a breath and quietly left.
But six months later, that would never come to be.
As I stood before you, life finally set you free.
In front of you now,
I hope you hear me somehow.
Touching your hands,
it’s still so hard for me to understand.
I sent you away, hoping you would change your ways.
Thinking you could win this.
Hoping it was me you missed.
Wishing you had won the fight.
Taking you from darkness to light.
As a tear falls, I touched your face.
Hoping you found a much better place.
Tearfully I wished your promise would have lead to a new life, far away from your sin.
As I gently placed a single red rose,
on your coffin.

2 thoughts on “Addiction

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